I am trying to undo all the years of damage from doing it in the first place. Many years later, I am still trying to teach this to my own children. Talk about a major change within my own self! The end result? It transferred back to Dan (by setting the example) and we learned to cope together. I chose to learn to transfer my own emotions and reactions with deliberate and thoughtful responses. But my eyes needed to be open right along with my mind to pick up the shattered pieces and glue them back together again. After all was said and done, I had my own “come to Jesus” moment. Then, one day, I made a very permanent decision that, in my mind, was the only option I had left. I focused on my justifications instead of putting that energy into doing something different. I bottled it up inside and became resentful. When my husband became the one who responded emotionally to everything around him after his injury, I had two choices: keep reacting the way I always did and join into the downward spiral with both of us doing it, or break the cycle and hold on tight for the ride.įor the first part of this journey, I chose to keep reacting the same way. Then there were times I was absolutely, positively right. I have to live with that, and it’s not easy. I still pay a residual price for those choices. It was actually my sense of being right fueled by confusing emotions coming into play. At the time I was absolutely CONVINCED I was right.

It’s what led me to make a long string of choices that weren’t good for me or those around me.

It’s what contributed to our bitter divorce in 2003. Sometimes time will open your eyes if you keep your mind open in the process.ĬONFESSION: I used to be an incredibly impulsive person when it came to my overwhelming emotions. Living and dwelling inside your head and closing everyone off makes your thoughts fester. Work on yourself, your reactions, and pick up some coping skills while you are at it. Here is the short summary of what this means to me:Įven when you are convinced that you are absolutely right and justified, it doesn’t give you the right or justification to create more harm to those around you. “Don’t make a permanent decision based on temporary emotions.” If there is one thing we’ve learned through this journey, and in life in general, it’s THIS.

One thing list dont do before